My mum said dinner was ready and I went into the kitchen and it wasn’t even ready I’m sick of all these lies, its tearing our family apart
EVERY SINGLE EASTER MY MOTHER HIDES A THREE POUND EASTER EGG IN THE HOUSE AND SETS MY BROTHERS AND I OFF TO GO FIND IT AND GUESS WHO GOT IT FOR THE FOURTH CONSECUTIVE YEAR IN A ROW
NOT THOSE LIL BITCHES
when teachers start lecturing the whole class about how they’re wasting so much of their time, and end up just wasting even more time
me: ok i’ll study at 8:00
me: *pretends i didn’t see*
my dick has a lot in common with the sun
nobody likes looking directly at it?
It gives people cancer?
woAh woah woah
It rises at the crack of dawn?
it disappears at night?
direct exposure often leads to a nasty case of sunburn?
it needs to stay approximately 92,960,000 miles away from me?
nobody will ever touch it?